Least you have a daddy


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Murder the president of your old life. Let the NSA read about it on your blog. They should know what you are capable of. Once they read it, they will know you are no longer a threat. They will send you bushels of peonies and ask you out for milk. They will lend you their government-rate Costco card and laugh. “You,” they will say, “will have to buy in bulk now.”